AOL NEWS YEARBOOK
Earthdate September 1995


Highlights from the news compiled
by the demi-Goddess Hazed


THE MONTH IN BRIEF

September 1995 was the month during which Federation went live on AOL. A bottle of champagne span slowly through virtual space and smashed against the side of the game, as it came out of beta-test.

Requirements for the rank of Explorer were set, allowing people to advance to that exalted rank. The Explorer's Workbench was opened up, allowing people to design their own planets, and the number of locations, objects and events allowed on a planet was increased, allowing players' imaginations much more leeway.

Interstellar Links and Planetary Orbits were made peaceful locations, by Imperial decree - with the exception of Arena Space, where all locations are equally dangerous!

The Imperial Bank cracked down on people who took out loans to buy ships and then immediately put the mortgaged property at risk by going out fighting. It was decreed that ships purchased with finance plans should not be used for violence, only for economic reasons, so the banks can get their money back as fast as possible. To comply with this ruling, Jarrow stopped installing weapons into ships owned by Commanders. Of course, Commanders could still buy missiles and ammo from a weapons shop, but unless they planned to throw it out the back of the ship, this was no use at all!

We started holding Training Schools on a number of subjects, to help people learn all the different aspects of Fed. See the reports below on two of the schools.

RPatrick became the first GM to go dead-dead, by neglecting the all-important matter of reinsurance while fighting in Arena Space.

Two new host-owned planets were brought online:

The planet Sphinx is owned by Ajjaa. It's a mysterious world, very much modelled after Ancient Egypt, with a puzzle paying rich rewards to those that solve it.

Warzone is owned by Lord Tzum. He's a raving megalomaniac, who styles himself Monarch of the Universe, and behaves accordingly. Approach him with caution! Approach his planet with caution, too... although the ground locations are perfectly safe, if you move your ship out of the safety of the link/orbit you will be attacked by some of the most vicious ships we've ever seen!


CLOSED PLANETS: A DETAILED EXPLANATION FOR POOR PEOPLE

There was mass consternation from people trading in Misty duchy when Duke De Castres closed the capital planet of the duchy down for maintenance. The planet was only closed for 5 minutes, but that was long enough for hysteria and panic to set in amongst those who found themselves trapped and unable to leave the duchy.

If a planet-owner wants to make any changes to his planet, he has to close the world before he can use the Explorers' Workbench to do the alterations. When he closes the planet, it immediately stops anyone from going to the planet, either by jumping, teleporting or travelling. The <SYSTEMS> list will show the planet as being closed, as will the <DI planet> display.

Any player in the star system will periodically get messages asking them to leave the planet. Anyone who leaves the game from the closed planet, and comes back while it is closed, will be moved to the Meeting Point on Earth.

If the planet that closes is the capital planet of the duchy, then no-one will be able to enter or leave the duchy, because the hyperspace link will be unavailable. Anyone with a teleporter will be able to 'port out of the duchy; others who are desperate to leave can sell their ships and <TRAVEL> to a planet in another duchy.

It is likely that Dukes will take a great deal of care not to close their capital planets, otherwise they will soon find their planet-owners seceding from the duchy to join other, more reliable, Dukes.


CLOSED PLANETS: A DETAILED EXPLANATION FOR RICH PEOPLE

If you want to make any changes to your planet, you have to close the planet or you cannot use the Explorers' Workbench to do anything except list the files.

There are two stages to a planet being closed: a planet can be closed, or it can be offline. This distinction only matters to the owner of the planet. If you type <OFFLINE>, your planet will be closed. Nobody will be able to enter the star system, and anyone still in the system will periodically be asked to leave. Your planet display will show that the planet is closed.

You still cannot make any changes in the workbench, though. You have to wait until your planet is offline. The planet goes offline when there is nobody left in the system, and there are no objects/mobiles belonging to the planet in the recycle queue. Of course, this might happen immediately if there's no-one on the planet and all objects are where they belong.

You will be told if there are objects/mobiles that are holding up the process, and how long it will be until the planet will go completely offline. Once it goes offline, you will get a message informing you. You can then go into the workbench and make your changes... not forgetting to run the planet through the checker once you're done, of course!


FED WORKSHOPS BEGIN

Last week saw the kick-off for a number of workshops to be held weekly in Federation. Monday was the night for Oxcart's Fighter's Workshop. The pesky Syfari imp hosted a Role-Play Workshop on Tuesday evening, and Icedrake ran an enlightening Planet Design Forum on Wednesday evening. Following are a few highlights from two of those gatherings. Be sure to stop in on the up-coming sessions this week... you'll find the locations and directions posted on any available Fed Barboard prior to the meeting.

Highlights from Monday's Fighter's School:

Q: How do I fight someone (person or mobile) who has a higher INT (and resulting higher level battle computer) than I do?

A: Use missiles. Missiles have a flat 80% chance of hitting their target regardless of the opposing ship's battle computer. They're expensive, but well worth it when you see that wreath eject into the mess that was your opponent's ship.

Q: I keep getting a 'NO POWER LEFT FOR WEAPONS' message when I try to fire my laser. What does this mean?

A: Every ship requires a minimum engine size just to power the basic functions (1/10 bare hull size). Weapons and shields draw extra power beyond that amount. If there isn't enough power to go around, your weapons will not fire. There are several reasons this can occur. 1) You installed weapons and/or shields after you purchased your ship without upgrading engines as well. 2) Your engines have become damaged during battle to the point where they can no longer supply adequate power. 3) You installed *just* the bare minimum engines required, and you've been ignoring all those "overhaul" messages. It's always a good idea to install more engine power than you think you'll need to allow for damage. 20-30 extra is usually sufficient.

Q: Do the space mobiles always move in the same pattern.

A: Yes, the mobiles moves through sectors according to how they're numbered. Each space location has a sector number assigned to it and a mobile will go through them from lowest to highest before starting over again. Sol space is very neatly laid out and sector 30 falls nicely between sectors 29 and 31. However, player planets are under no such restrictions so don't expect their space locations to fall in line the same way.

Q: I don't want to fight, but I don't want to be an easy target either. How can I protect myself while sacrificing as little precious cargo space as possible?

A: If you have no interest in fighting, the first thing to do is get rid of those cumbersome, fuel-guzzling weapons. You may think you need some sort of weapon as deterrent so you can "get a shot off" at the aggressor. In reality, the offending party will laugh at you, be long gone from the scene, or offer to show you the way back from the hospital (read: you'll be dead by the time you can gather your wits enough to return fire). Another way to avoid combat is to set your battle computer to AUTO. When this feature is enabled, your ship will automatically take evasive action when fired upon, usually placing you safely in orbit. You don't require an awful lot of armor to protect you either. A mere 5 extra points of armor (for a total of 15) along with basic shields and AUTO enabled should allow you to survive well enough to deliver that cargo.

Q: Do you know the stats on the Pirate and Pegasus ships?

A: Yes. :)


Highlights from Tuesday's Role-Play Forum:

I find the 'act' command to be my best tool, because it can be used to both portray a gesture - and speak as well, thus giving me the ability to 'color' a statement. An illustration of that would be...

act smiles impishly, and says, 'I not like you!' ...whereupon she stabs you in the hand with a fork.

There are definitely things people can do to improve their role-playing, especially if they're the type that has trouble thinking up things to have their character do on the spot...

First, as you might expect, nothing much comes without putting some effort into it. Sit down with a pen and paper (or a laptop :>) and come up with some background for your character. Now, don't expect anyone is going to want to listen to you relate a long character history. The history is for YOU. If you have background to draw from, it's much easier to imagine things your character might do and how it would react to situations, as well as speech patterns and characteristic mannerisms.

After you write down the persona's background, go ahead and invent a few mannerisms you think might work as well. Many of these will evolve as you're playing the character, but it's nice to have a few to start with. Many people macro identifiable actions and become known for them... for instance, Freya has for a long time, been known for 'smiling blandly'.

Another way for you to make your character more distinctive is with its clothing. Try to come up with something original for clothing. Heaven preserve us from another black flight suit or jumpsuit. For that matter, who says your description has to be about clothes... perhaps it tells something about your character's mood or personality.

Don't be hesitant to speak up, to talk to people and throw out comments, even if you ARE low-ranked. If you have something to say, out with it. This is a text-based environment... it takes conversation to make it live and breathe.

And don't become known for being too serious or for causing a lot of angst. Not to say you can't play a 'serious' persona, but let it crack a smile every now and then. Or say something unexpectedly funny. The contrast will make the 'serious' side more convincing.


GOSSIP, SCANDAL AND LIES

When questioned why GuyRay was sporting blue paint on various areas of his body recently, Alais offered the following explanation:

"Perhaps because he was painted blue the other night." GuyRay was heard to comment that he wanted to leave some on as a reminder. Inquiring minds were left to wonder just what GuyRay and unspecified companions find to do with blue paint. An explanation proffered was the enigmatic -

>GuyRay could not answer that without a better understanding of women.

Another clue was the vague smile on Guy's face when the above was noted.

Just any reporter might have left the incident at that. But NO! Not a FED newsdroid! We push on, through rain, through sleet, through snow, through dark of night... oh! Yes, the answer? Well, just as you might have expected...

"Alais and FauxHack decided to paint me blue. Then they decided to put me in a harness and hang me from the ceiling. I cooperated with the inevitable."

(Said with a very vague smile, we might add.)


GROATS FOR NOTHING
by AutumnDay and Islandgrrl, after Dire Straits

Now look at them yo-yos that's the way you do it
You sit in CDs and drink some beer.
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Groats for nothin' and chicks for free
Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them gals ain't dumb
Maybe help out a hauler or a commander
Maybe just sit back and throw them a crumb

We gotta install some extra twin lasers
Got some Starfinder deliveries
We gotta move these generators
We gotta move these libraries

See the little trader with the earring and the makeup
Yeah buddy that's his own hair
That little trader got his own spybeam
That little trader he's a millionaire

We gotta install a bigger engine,
custom paint job at the shipyard please
Check the price on some vidicasters
See trading Warzone doesn't frighten me

I shoulda learned to map the planets
I shoulda learned to solve the puzzles
Look at that couple in the spybeam camera -
man, they sure are havin some fun
And he's in there, what's that? cajun smurf barbecue?
He's gottem beggin via TB to the mean JPs
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Get your groats for nothin' get your guys for free

I gotta find that insurance office
Gotta find it before Peg finds me!
We gotta raise these stats just a little
If only someone could help me PLEASE!!!!!!

Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
You run your company from CDs
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Groats for nothin' and your chicks for free
Groats for nothin' and guys for free


EDITRIX'S COMMENT ON NAMES

(Prompted by a report on a player called Hydradas designing a planet he wanted to call Rymbkhanstia.)

Think carefully before buying yourself a planet. Choose the name wisely. Once purchased, you cannot change the name of your world.

Rymbkhanstia is an impressive-sounding name, full of alien mystery. It's also pretty hard to spell! This may deter people from visiting the planet for trade or exploration.

Not that everyone should choose monosyllabic planet names like Zog or Wet, of course. But a little thought before committing yourself to something untypable will save you hassle in the future.


WAITDROID LINKED TO HARASSMENT INCIDENT!

It's common knowledge that the shapely droid with the name 'Wait' has been witnessed loitering around the Terminus during times when the Cleaner droid is known to frequent that locale. Matters came to a head this week when a 'Code 7' was illegally set off intentionally by the malfunctioning Waitdroid. While the alert, 'Cleaner Droid report to main Lounge for a Code 7!' sounded over comms systems, Waitdroid was seen attempting to subdivert the Cleaner droid, who had rushed into the Lounge in response to the Code 7 summons. Is it coincidence? We think not! It remains to be seen if the malingering Waitdroid will be deactivated for reprogramming.


SHOES KIDNAPPED!

It was discovered earlier this week that Freya's 5" heels were cold-bloodedly abducted while that lady was hot-tubbing. When asked for details of the kidnapping, Freya commented in a quivering voice, 'I just closed my eyes for a moment... and the next thing I knew, they were gone!'

Authorities are presently seeking possible motives for the abduction. The most encouraging to date involves the mysterious Don MHenriques, who has already been linked to criminal elements in the underworld through his suspicious Encasa Familia organization. It's been alleged that the Don has stated on more than one occasion that he desires Freya to join his collection of 'Molls'. (More to come on that in a later edition of the news.)

The despairing Freya was found after the fact in CDs, in a state of high anxiety. She fretted, 'now he denies he has them :(' As friends tried to console her, Freya continued, 'he's mean. I just don't know what I shall do...' at which point she flounced over to her comfy chair and sat down glumly. 'I'm going to get runs in these sheer black seamed stockings, I just know it! I want my high heels back...' Freya looked almost tearful as she spoke. 'It's not easy to get seamed stockings you know. And those were very very special 5" high heels. I especially miss those tiny silver straps that buckled around my ankles...' As she fought to hold back her tears, our newsdroid asked her one final question - what punishment she would hope the criminal to receive for this heinous misdeed. Freya replied, 'Let's shove him in the radiation pits!'


INTERVIEW WITH A KIDNAPPER?

Since no light has yet been shed on the kidnapping, we sent ace news correspondent Bahba Wawa after an exclusive one-on-one interview with the shady suspect. Finally, after following him on a round-about tour of numerous planets, no doubt to shake off any would-be threats to the Don's life, the veteran newswoman, Bahba was able to garner the following interview...

Bahba smyels pweasantly

Bahba says, 'How awe you tonight MHenwiques?'

Bahba checks her coif.

'I am doing rather well this fine eve,' says MHenriques.

'Now then...' begins Bahba.

MHenriques leans forward, 'Yes?'

'MHenwiques, what made you wesowt to such nefawious lengths as kidnapping Ms. Fweya's shoes?' asks Bahba.

'I am shocked at such slander. Do I look like one to engage in such activities?' asks MHenriques.

MHenriques smiles.

MHenriques adds, 'I do know about what you speak however.'

Bahba asks, 'Do you then deny you awe holding the powah 5-inchahs captive?'

'I, deny? As I said, I don't have the shoes...however......errr.. hmm,' says MHenriques.

MHenriques smiles, 'Quite.'

Bahba motions the camera to pull in for a close-up.

MHenriques says, 'Hey Nunzio, come here.'

MHenriques motions to a shadow.

Bahba smyels thinly. 'Deny? Oh I assuwah you.. we have positive evidence that you indeed have them.'

MHenriques has a word with a rather large individual who nods once, and then quickly leaves.

MHenriques asks, 'Do you?'

'Yes we do,' continues Bahba.

MHenriques smiles, 'And what might that be?'

Bahba fixes MHenwiques with a penetwating gaze.

'You got nuttin' on me! Nuttin'...' says MHenriques.

MHenriques exclaims, 'You can't prove a thing!'

'We have... a witness!' exclaims Bahba.

MHenriques pauses and regains his frame of mind.

MHenriques smiles, 'Do you now?'

Bahba waises hew bwow.

'Yes. And given that, what do you have to say MHenwiques? What motive could you have had fowah this cwime of passion?', asks Bahba.

'And would this corp...err person have a name?' asks MHenriques.

Bahba says, 'We would be silly indeed to welease that infowmation.'

'Why? Tell me why MHenwiques... What bwought you to do it?' asks Bahba.

'Let me tell you something,' says MHenriques with an oily smile.

'He who controls a thing, can destroy a thing,' MHenriques adds in a low, threatening tone.

'I am a GOD! Don't you see?', asks MHenriques.

Bahba says, 'Wumoah has it, you want Mz. Fweya to be one of yowah Molls...'

MHenriques wrinkles his brow.

MHenriques says flatly, 'No comment.'

Bahba Wawa weaches acwoss the table.

Bahba covahs MHenwiques' hand with hew own...

Bahba says, 'Talk to me... show me yowah human side...'

'Why did you do it?' asks Bahba quietly. 'Was it love?'

MHenriques notices Nunzio return with a small datapad.

MHenriques nods to Nunzio.

MHenriques says, 'Ummm, well.....pardon me for a moment.'

Bahba nods and has a whispered conversation with her camera man as she waits.

MHenriques looks at the pad, whispers to Nunzio, and waves him off.

Bahba waits as her makeup boy runs up to touch up her face.

MHenriques says, 'Ahh, I am sorry, just a little work.'

Bahba turns back, her smile in place.

'No pwoblem,' responds Bahba.

MHenriques asks, 'Now then, where were we?'

'Open up to me MHenwiques... tell us why you weally did it', says Bahba.

MHenriques smiles jauntily, 'I didn't do it. Plain and simple.'

MHenriques' voice suddenly drops. 'You'll have to take me to court if you want any more answers.'

'Any pawting comments MHenwiques?' asks Bahba.

MHenriques smiles thinly. 'If you only knew what I do...'

MHenriques leans back on his chair.

'I didn't get into such a lofty position by being a fool,' smiles MHenriques.

Bahba says, 'Vewy well... not as much as I had hoped.. but it will do.'

MHenriques says, 'Tell me something...'

'Yes?' asks Bahba.

Bahba smyels pwofessionally.

'Have you ever talked to the Mafia before?' asks MHenriques, his expression grim.

'You might be suhpwised to know that the ansah to that is yes, a few times,' wesponds Bahba.

'I have contacts in all sowts of places,' she adds. 'That's why I get good intahviews.'

'One doesn't live healthy by slandering them, Bahba,' smiles MHenriques.

Bahba says, 'I don't slandah.... I wepoht the news.'

Bahba gwins and squeezes MHenwiques' hand.

'oh, come now. I know you...', says MHenriques chuckling at the newswoman's mettle.

MHenriques smiles.

'I twust you'll appweciate I'm doing a job, just like you', adds Bahba.

MHenriques' expression suddenly becomes deadly serious.

MHenriques whispers...

'Tell her, she will be mine....'

MHenriques whispers...'in time...'

Bahba feels a shiver run up her spine and answers, almost without cognizance, 'I will MHenwiques, I wi... erm...'

Bahba coughs.

Bahba says, 'Tell me one thing though...'

MHenriques rises from the chair.

'Yes?' asks MHenriques.

'The shoes... awe they safe?' asks Bahba.

MHenriques motions to Nunzio.

MHenriques turns to Bahba and winks.

MHenriques asks, 'One will never know, now will they?'

Bahba stands and motions her crew to pack up.

Bahba says with a half-smyel, 'It's been weal MHenwiques.'

'Indeed.' says MHenriques. 'A pleasure.'

'All mine,' says Bahba.

MHenriques smiles.

MHenriques says, 'Good nite ma'am'

Bahba Wawa chuckles and tuwns to go.


As a closing note to this unfolding drama, fwiends... erm friends and acquaintances are rallying around the distressed Freya, offering both sympathy and emotional support. To quote one letter received by the grieving victim...

TO: Freya

SUBJ: Sorry

I think it's horrible that they are holding your belongings like that. It's just pure blackmail. I hope you get everything worked out. Let me know what happens and if I can help.


NEWS FROM THE UNDERWORLD

A terse scene was witnessed by our under-cover newsdroid earlier this week while lurking in a dark corner of Chez Diesel.

That bastion of evil-intrigue, Don MHenriques entered CD's and began distributing flyers advertising 'Shoes For Sale'. As he passed between the crowded tables, Freya was seen entering the establishment, practically on his heels [editrix groans and thwops the droid], still in her stockinged feet, although mercifully as yet without a run.

'Well look who's poking around in here,' commented MHenriques in a painfully loud tone of voice. Chuckling evilly, he added, '...and with no shoes on. Are you preggers, Freya?'

As Freya first blanched, then scowled at MHenriques, she snapped back at him, 'Pregnant??' and then began to appear potentially snippity.

In answer, the wily gangster smiled, saying 'You know the term.. barefoot and pregnant.'

Freya refrained from comment on such slander and flounced over to her comfy chair, huffily. As she looked up and noticed the bar's patrons studying her midriff, she retorted, 'Am not!'

'Are too...' snapped back MHenriques. 'Am not, am not!' answered Freya, beginning to approach impatience.

'Are too!' repeated MHenriques, 'else I would be dead now. Either that or your power of influence is rather drained.'

Freya took a minute to recheck her stockings and sighed in relief, finding no runs. She then looked up at MHenriques, glowering at him. 'What are you suggesting by that?' she asked.

'Plain and simple,' he replied in a menacing tone. 'I want a planet... if you will not join me as my Moll, that is...'

'I can't give away planets,' answered Freya, incredulous at his audacity. 'Did you ask my benefactor for one?'

'Ummm, I think I mentioned that as one of my... options. But I didn't ask Him for it outright...' replied the Don.

[At that point, urgent summons were seen to go out from Fed News Headquarters, seeking an interview with ALenton himself.]

'Did you?' smiled Freya, vaguely giving the Don an icy stare. 'He didn't mention that to me...'

'I just told Him what I want,' continued MHenriques.

The other denizens of Diesel's shuddered at the very thought.

Freya smiled blandly, 'That's lovely...'

'I've come to believe He hasn't any power anymore... nothing but a figurehead, eh?' sniveled MHenriques.

At that point, IamSkeets was seen to don her asbestos sunglasses in preparation for the lightning bolts.

'Something like Japan's Emperor...' added the Don. 'Yes, I tread where angels fear. He told me I'd need to talk to Hazed about it. Like, you ask 'who has the power?'... and it's always 'not me - talk to the others.''

Freya looked coldly at the man and said, 'Well... being vague is in our contracts.' IamSkeets nodded in agreement, saying, 'That's true!' whereupon she whipped hers out and displayed the fine print.

'And we do defer to Hazed in matters such as planets,' continued Freya. 'Who could expect someone as important as Himself to worry about that? Hazed has nothing to do with my high heels though...'

At this point, the shifty MHenriques gave the indignant Freya one of his oily smiles, shrugged and departed the bar, still handing out flyers as he left.

In a related note, there have been no new developments in the search to locate Freya's 5" heels. Officials in the police department report that the current investigation has proven fruitless and anyone with information on the whereabouts of the heels should report it to their local precinct.


FROM THE SCIENCE DESK...

We've just found out that Fed Scientists have discovered a bizarre link between Freya's shoes and her powers of persuasion. When asked about this hypothesis, an 'expert' on the case commented, 'Yes, it's quite fascinating! I'd equate it to that old story concerning Samson's loss of strength with that hair he cut he was given...'


NEWSFLASH... THIS JUST IN!!!

Just a few short days since the reported confrontation between Don MHenriques and Freya regarding the disappearance of her shoes, authorities were today tipped off by an anonymous Email to search the Clover River on the planet Cabbage. After hours of laborious dredging, a tragic culmination was discovered in the drama of the missing 5" heels. As the waters released their doleful contents, witnesses were heard to sigh in despair. Freya's high heels were found with a little concrete block around each piteous pointy heel. Further investigation revealed earlier that day, a package was delivered to Freya in CD's. Wrapped in newpaper and tied with twine, it was found to contain a dead fish when Freya opened it. Authorities speculate that the package was a dismal precursor to the afternoon's sad events on Cabbage.

The Mayoress of Cabbage has declared that all flags be flown at half-mast for the coming week on that planet, in mourning for the death of the innocents.


BULLETIN ENDS


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